The other day Steph shared an article with me about divine discontent – what Dan Miller describes as “feeling misplaced, off-track, or that [we] are not making a difference.” She related this to a big ol’ breaking point in her life when she realized that her career wasn’t lining up with her faith. And I’m not going to lie to you all, that post unleashed something in me that has been boiling under the surface for far too long: my own serious, way too ignored case of divine discontent.
Where does divine discontent start? I think for lots of us, it’s that unsettled feeling that something is just not right. That what we’re living isn’t jiving with what we believe or what the Holy Spirit is whispering in the deepest place of “our knower” as Annie Downs once said on her blog.
I’ve believed the lie that my happiness, my comfort, is more important than obedience. I’ve believed that I can have a foot in both worlds—that I can sponsor a child or two and hand the homeless guy a burrito and I’ve done my duty. But I hold my wallet close. My children and my cell phone and my apartment with a thermostat that works, because I don’t really want to give it all to Jesus. I don’t really want to lay down and die, even if that’s precisely what I signed up for when I asked Him to make me His.- Cara Sexton, On Hoarding Manna
So here’s my question:
Can we all have a conversation about divine discontent? About what it means to be a Christian, as my church asked recently in an incredible message?
Because I want to push that feeling down even further and pretend that everything is a-ok and that believing is the same thing as doing, but if I’m honest with myself and God and you, there’s a lot of me that’s still waiting to burst out of the seams and be the disciple I so desire to be, and there’s another big side of me that has a lot to learn about surrender and selflessness and denying myself.
Then he (Jesus) said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. – Luke 9:23 (NLT)
What about you guys? I know to some of us this isn’t the shiniest, prettiest conversation, but I love what Steph said to me in our latest conversation about it. Divine discontent is just a sign that there’s something more – that God has something better planned for us and that there’s a God-sized dream in us and it’s dying to come out.
Can you relate to this feeling of divine discontent? Of having a God-sized dream that’s dying to come out or of desiring to live God’s best instead of a compromise?